On writing even when it’s hard
Writing is the hardest when my hope is the most precarious. In the past I’ve walked away from the craft for weeks or months at a time, because everything felt so bleak. I don’t want to do that again. As Hemingway said, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
The rules I impose on myself for making word counts, completing projects, and other aspects of the writing process are ambitious. I hold myself to a high standard for the quantity and quality of the words that I write. I have to push myself to be able to achieve them, but they wouldn’t be worthwhile if they were easy.
Lately it has been difficult to want to write. Whether it’s sadness, exhaustion, or being distracted - it hasn’t been easy to find my groove. I know that part of being a writer is pushing through even when it feels like the well has run dry, but it's hard to stay motivated when I'm not feeling inspired. I tell myself that the words don't always have to be perfect, that sometimes it's more important to just get something down on paper. But even that can feel like a monumental task when I'm struggling to find the energy to write. As Jodi Picoult put it, “You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.”
Despite the challenges, I know that writing is important to me. It's a way for me to express myself, to explore my thoughts and feelings, and to connect with others. Even when it's hard, I'm going to keep writing. I'll keep pushing myself to meet my goals, even when I don't feel like it. And I'll keep believing that the words will come, even when they're hiding from me. Because as Stephen King reminds us, "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”
On the first of November I started doing Morning Pages from the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Cameron teaches artists how to get over the mental and physical hang ups that hold them back, and to be able to reclaim their creativity.
Now, each morning after my husband brings me coffee, and before I reach for my iPhone - I sit down with my pen and a journal to write.
What I write during this exercise doesn’t have to be on topic, logical, or even legible. I have discovered that even though those first words may be forced and weak by the end of the three pages I’m really starting to feel it.
I fell in love with writing after reading Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones, and I am starting to feel that same dizzy passion for the craft again as I do my Morning Pages.
There is so much to keep me tied to earthly endeavors, but when I put pen to paper I find the seraphim that tethers me to the celestial.
