Happy ThankSummersGiving!

I don’t like to consider myself an idiot, but here I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner on the hottest day of the year.

Today was our ThankSummersGiving Day celebration. We had to make some last minute changes when we found out Thursday afternoon that I had been exposed to Covid 19 at school. We couldn’t take the chance of Parker, Taggert, or Nanny being exposed. So, Ken, Benjamin Rothlesdogger, Scooter, and I had a lovely meal together.

I know you’re wondering why on earth we’re celebrating Thanksgiving in July. You’re probably drawing correlations to another holiday that is celebrated at a more convenient time instead of on the celebratees actual birthday. That’s right, I’m talking about Abraham Lincoln, but this has nothing to do with him at all.

We had our giant meal today, because this week I’m covering the fourth issue of Readymade Magazine - the Fall 2002 issue. This issue has a bunch of awesome projects, but as soon as I saw Jill Silverman Hough’s Thanksgiving for Idiots article I knew that I’d hit gold. The recipes were simple enough to follow that even I couldn’t screw them up.

The recipes included Idiot’s Brined Turkey and Gravy, Drunken Stuffing, Uncanny Cranberries, and Acorn Squash Stuffed with Polenta, Wild Rice, and Mushrooms. Acorn squash and turkey were difficult to find in mid July, but fresh cranberries were a nonstarter. That’s okay. I like the good old can shaped cranberries.

I did make a couple additions to the menu. I took the article’s advice to “get them drinking” by making cranberry sangria and drunken punkin pie. All Silverman Hough’s recipes are directly from the article. I hope you like them as much as we did.

In this version of the recipe on the can of Aldi’s Baker’s Corner pumpkin I added a shot of butterscotch schnapps to the recipe, and baked it in a frozen pie crust. It may look terrible, but it tasted completely adequate.

By Jill Silverman Hough

Idiot’s Brined Turkey

4 cups kosher salt

1 turkey rinsed with the giblets removed

1 cup chicken or turkey broth

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons sage, thyme, and rosemary

1 ½ teaspoons fresh ground pepper

Dissolve the salt in 2 gallons of cold water and a clean, non-reactive stock pot or bucket big enough for your turkey. Add the bird. Make sure the salt water solution covers the turkey  –  if it doesn’t, add more. Refrigerate for 12 to 24 hours. (If it won’t fit in your refrigerator, an ice chest kept at about 40° will do it.)

Remove the turkey and rinse well, pat dry inside and out with paper towels. Preheat the oven to 400°.

Rub the turkey all over with butter, and sprinkle inside and out with herbs and pepper. Set a V-shaped rack in a roasting pan. Spray both with nonstick cooking spray. Set the turkey on the rack breast side up. Loosely tent the breast with foil and roast for an hour.

Remove foil and baste turkey with half the chicken stock. Rebaste with pan drippings and stock every 10 minutes or so, until a meat thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the breast (not touching the bones) registers 165°, and the thickest part of the thigh registers 170 to 175°. If any part of the skin starts looking to brown, cover it with foil.

The turkey should cook for a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours.

Remove the turkey from the oven and let it rest for 20 to 30 minutes before carving. Meanwhile, make the gravy.

Drunken Stuffing

1 package fine Pepperidge Farm seasoned stuffing mix

2 cups chopped celery

1 stick salted butter

1 cup chopped onions

1 box golden raisins

1 cup burgundy wine

Bring a pot of water to boil and dunk in raisins to plump them up. Sauté onions and celery in butter until soft. Add sautéed mixture to raisins, and combine with stuffing mix in a big bowl. Add more melted butter as needed, then add wine and a stir. If you’re stuffing your bird, the mixture doesn’t need to be as moist. Extra stuffing reheated in the oven may need more butter chicken stock.

Uncanny Cranberries

12 ounces fresh cranberries

1 firm, ripe pear

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

In a small pan over medium heat, combine the water and sugar and stir until dissolved. When it comes to a boil, add the cranberries and pear. Return to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes. Cool and refrigerate.

Idiot’s Brined Turkey Gravy

Pan drippings

3 cups chicken or turkey broth

1 cup water

¼ cup flour

¼ cup unsalted butter

Fresh ground pepper to taste

Remove the turkey from the roasting pan. Pour off all the pan juices – don’t throw them out, just set them aside. Dissolve the flour in the water. (This is called a slurry.)

Arrange a roasting pan over one or two burners of your stove top. Turn the heat on low. Melt the butter in the pan. Stirring constantly with a whisk or heat resistant spatula, add about half the slurry, a little at a time, scraping up the burn bits at the bottom of the pan. This will thicken the gravy.

Acorn Squash Stuffed with Polenta, Wild Rice, and Mushrooms

4 small acorn squash, halved lengthwise, seeds and membranes scraped out

1 cup wild rice

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup sliced shallots

½ pound fresh shiitake mushrooms, cleaned, stemmed, and quartered

1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage, or 1 teaspoon dried sage

½ pound washed, trimmed spinach leaves

½ cup grated parmesan cheese

2 eggs

2 tomatoes

1 pound prepared polenta, cut into ½ inch cubes

½ bread crumbs

Salt and fresh ground pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 400°. Season the flesh of the squash generously with salt and pepper. Select enough baking sheets to fit all 8 halves in a single layer, and coat sheets with nonstick cooking spray. Place squash onto the sheets cut side down and roast for 25 minutes, until they just begin to brown. Reduce heat to 375 and continue roasting until flesh is soft and easily pierced with a knife. Remove squash from oven but leave oven on.

Meanwhile, bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Add rice and cook until tender, about 30 minutes. Drain and let cool.

 While the rice and squash are cooking, heat olive oil in a large skillet. Add shallots and sauté for two minutes. Add mushrooms and sage and sauté until tender, 5 to 7 minutes. Add spinach a little at a time until leaves are wilting. Remove from heat.

In a large bowl, combine cheese, eggs, tomatoes, and polenta. Gently stir in rice and mushroom mixture.

Form a mound of stuffing on each squash half, then top with a tablespoon of breadcrumbs. The recipe up to this point can be made a day or two in advance and then refrigerate. When you’re ready to reheat, Bring the dish to room temperature and then return to the oven for 20 minutes, until the squash are cooked through and slightly browned on top.