Why I'm not famous yet and other lies I tell myself

Writing a novel is hard. Finishing that novel is the apotheosis of months or years of work. Take a moment to revel in the persistence you’ve shown. That’s enough. Don’t be a narcissist. The fact is, there is no true completion in writing. There is just a point where you throw your hands up and walk away.

After you finish your writing project the real work begins.

• Celebrate your win on social media

• Read and revise

• Edit

• Explain to your friends and family via social media about why your book isn’t published yet

• Read and revise again and again until you need glasses

• Beta testing

• Update social media about why there is still no book available

• Read your beta analysis

• Revise with beta analysis complete

• Edit one last time

• Get glasses

• Post on social media that you are now querying, and hope a highly connected agent follows you on Instagram

• Begin agent submissions

• Wine

• Cry and cut your hair

• Check your email 5 times per minute until you get an ulcer

• Drink a bottle of wine when you see how much time and money you spent bringing your darling to life

• Explain to your family over Thanksgiving the detailed reasons why you haven’t received a 6 figure offer yet, and why you think bangs were a good idea

• Begin receiving agent feedback

• Revise and resubmit

• Drink and try to will your hair to grow back

• Post about how happy you are on Instagram while wearing a Panama hat

This is as far as I’ve made it into marketing My Mother Road. Hopefully I’ll have better news for you soon.